Babies - as seen on Oprah

On yesterday’s episode of her show Oprah asked a proud father of nine-month-old sextuplets about his children’s different personalities. His strong connection to and love for each child was apparent as he described each one. I couldn’t resist this great opportunity to back up one great dad’s appreciation of the “wide range of normal” that we see in this age group of children.

           

The dad’s observation, “She’s always grabbing people’s hair, necklaces, fingers,” describes most babies as they explore the world. Like most 9-month old babies, this one uses her fingers, mouth and eyes to explore those things closest to her. As she grows, her curiosity will extend to her surrounding world.

Her brother is a clear communicator: “He’s easy going until he wants something.” Then the parents respond. This interaction pattern reinforces and creates competency for baby and parent alike as they practice signaling and responding to each other. The research shows that babies who are responded to quickly are the ones who cry the least.

“She’s a daddy’s girl.” Even in a family with five other babies she shows a preference for a parent. It might not feel wonderful for mom, but this girl is right on track: at nine-months of age, a baby should prefer her small circle of “peeps” and be wary of people who are unfamiliar. Some might perceive this as “unfriendly.” I call it developmentally competent. Stranger wariness is biologically programmed in all of us—especially 0-3 year-olds—to keep us safe.

This father clearly describes the three central developmental task of infants and toddlers: forming and maintaining important relationships; expressing and managing emotions; and learning and exploring the world.  The threads connecting the development of these babies are the consistent, responsive and engaging relationships they experience, even in a busy household with sextuplets, with their parents and other important caregivers.  Bravo!