Bothered by Constant Questions

A three-year-old child in our preschool rooms asks questions constantly. She even asks questions when she knows the answer and when I’ve just answered the same question a few minutes ago. It’s clear she understands my answers: she just wants my attention all of the time. When I answer her, she takes it as a signal to ask more questions. I’m going nuts: I’ve thought about ignoring her or telling her she can only ask three questions every day. What should I do?

There are a variety of reasons why children repeatedly ask questions. Sometimes asking questions is a go-to strategy for engaging teachers or parents in busy classrooms or households. Sometimes children struggle to interpret verbal information or remembering all of the details. Sometimes adults give too much information. I’d start by investigating the child’s listening and comprehension skills. Talk with parents to see if they have similar concerns or have found ways to engage in less frustrating kinds of conversations. If broader concerns emerge, the parents can take the information you’ve gathered to medical or school providers.

Comprehension of verbal information

Check out her understanding of what is communicated in both Q & A and in command statements. Start by simplifying your language (“put on coat”) in a variety of situations to confirm that she does understand what you are saying. Then move to more complex language (“It’s time to put on your blue coat.”) To determine if she’s listening to all of your words ask her to complete a two or three part task (“First put on your coat, then come to the circle.”)

Check your own use of language. Sometimes we teachers use language or more words than is developmentally appropriate.  Imagine learning a foreign language when you only knew single words and everyone around you only spoke in long elaborate sentences.

When she repeats a question already asked use this opportunity to see what she remembers or knows about the answer. For example, when looking at a picture of a sleeping dog, she asks you about the dog and you answer, “The dog is sleeping.” If she asks again, you reply “I remember you just asked me and I said….” to see if she can fill in the blank. You can even prompt her “the dog is _____.”

Engagement strategies

If your hunch is that she is using Q & A to engage you, you can help her learn other strategies while you help her broaden what she does with the answers to her questions. Look for ways to increase your interactions, shared experiences, and story telling. Provide opportunities that expand her ideas, and help her build conversational skills. For example, you could ask “What will the dog do next?” or “What do you think the dog is named?” You can repeat back what she tells you (“The dog’s name is Gus.” Or “That dog looks really tired.”)

If Q & A is a child’s only technique, she may need help learning turn-taking in conversations or how to initiate a dialogue. In these situations, you can help her build conversation starters. For example, when a child asks a repeat question, you can reframe the interaction by saying “You can say ‘look the dog is sleeping.’” These interactions provide models and expand the child’s knowledge.